Don’t drop the baton, ok?
9 years ago
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Soul searching
as long as i can recall i have been trying to figure myself out, trying to make a life plan for myself....but still i stand here today still trying to get the same answer....i am still clueless as to what i WANT out of my life,,,,what is the purpose of my life! i know one purpose of my life is raising hafsa as best as i can.....but what else? i still dont know who i am and what i want to be? not professionally but what is the kind of person i want to be? do i want to be a rebell or a silent compromiser? should i stay silent and wait in general for the right time..or should i voice my opinions? at times it seems i sont even know what my opinions are? i feel like i am in a constant search of a way to better accomplished life....but do i want to be so wordly? is it right to be so engrossed in this world? how much religious i want to be? i know that i want to right down all what i want to accomplish in my life and make a plan ...a timeline so as to be content n satisfied in my present! its not tht i am not content..i am ! i love my life,,,,, its just that at times i feel....i am living a superficial life...where morning comes night falls i go about doing my daily chores without really accomplishing anythign great....or out of the things that i want to before my stay here ends
People in my life
well i have many people in my life..which is good...at times. i am in no way a social butterfly i am most comfortable in my own little world .... but when i do socialize i am genuinely genuine...when i c ppl judging others behind their backs and being totally normal infact friendly on their faces i loose trust in them....recently this is all what i have been seeing in ppl...ppl i geneunily care about....do they talk about me like this behind my back too? i guess they do...y not! y am i different? i know i am not..... ppl judge ...on small attributes small instances ..things that happen to the best of us....i loose respect for them....i loose trust in them...and my problem is i am not fake...i cant be...ppl come n go...but the only ones who stay in ur life are the only ones that matter....
Monday, September 6, 2010
Irony of life
The irony of Life
Irony of life is, life itself. It’s the most uncertain and unpredictable, yet the most planned and prepared for. People die every single day, calamities happen all the time, Allah keeps on sending us reminders that this life is nothing but a dream, like dreams feel so vivid and real so does life. But being human, we tend to forget, we forget why we are here, what should we be doing and how should we be living. I am no saint myself; i am an ordinary girl who postpones her namaz to next day almost everyday, who plans and plans endlessly for perfect events and occasions and who at the moment is deeply shattered and stunned by the events of yesterday. We humans have a weird sense of relating to tragedies, we feel most for those which either directly affect us or we can extremely well relate to, but yet we all have this inborn instinct that looks for conditions and reasons as to why it wouldn’t ever happen to us.
This is how I have been behaving towards all the blood shed in our country – a country where people die by dozens daily and where media is focused on getting more viewership than having the empathy to the affected. The daily bomb blasts & target killings have just been fleeting news tickers in my life, where I always reasoned with thoughts like, “it’s just the wrong area … the politically involved people, I am not like them – no it wont happen to me”….. But events of yesterday have literally conjured me up… I could have been one of them – they were just like me…young professionals…going to attend meetings, conferences – just like I do – just like my family and friends do. How do I reason with myself on this one? I cannot! I keep on thinking and thinking over this – trying to find one reason to console myself that this doesn’t happen to real people! But sadly the truth is … that it does!
It can happen to just anyone, anywhere, any day or anytime ….such is the reality of life.
So what should we do? Should we stop living altogether by the fear of death? Or shall we live fully in every moment treating it as our last? This is what I believe this test is all about…finding the right balance, not being so blindly dazed by the glitz and glamour of this life nor being extremely depressed by the fear of unknown and the uncertain nature of our stay here – this is what our religion teaches us. Being Muslims we know and believe that there is only so much we can do – even that not without the consent and will of Allah and the rest is completely out of our hands. So lets pray that Allah gives us courage and faith to be able to accept the realities of life, ability to enjoy, appreciate and make best use of every single moment we have here both in terms of the world and the hereafter and the strength to bear the losses we cannot imagine having but are destined to experience.
Irony of life is, life itself. It’s the most uncertain and unpredictable, yet the most planned and prepared for. People die every single day, calamities happen all the time, Allah keeps on sending us reminders that this life is nothing but a dream, like dreams feel so vivid and real so does life. But being human, we tend to forget, we forget why we are here, what should we be doing and how should we be living. I am no saint myself; i am an ordinary girl who postpones her namaz to next day almost everyday, who plans and plans endlessly for perfect events and occasions and who at the moment is deeply shattered and stunned by the events of yesterday. We humans have a weird sense of relating to tragedies, we feel most for those which either directly affect us or we can extremely well relate to, but yet we all have this inborn instinct that looks for conditions and reasons as to why it wouldn’t ever happen to us.
This is how I have been behaving towards all the blood shed in our country – a country where people die by dozens daily and where media is focused on getting more viewership than having the empathy to the affected. The daily bomb blasts & target killings have just been fleeting news tickers in my life, where I always reasoned with thoughts like, “it’s just the wrong area … the politically involved people, I am not like them – no it wont happen to me”….. But events of yesterday have literally conjured me up… I could have been one of them – they were just like me…young professionals…going to attend meetings, conferences – just like I do – just like my family and friends do. How do I reason with myself on this one? I cannot! I keep on thinking and thinking over this – trying to find one reason to console myself that this doesn’t happen to real people! But sadly the truth is … that it does!
It can happen to just anyone, anywhere, any day or anytime ….such is the reality of life.
So what should we do? Should we stop living altogether by the fear of death? Or shall we live fully in every moment treating it as our last? This is what I believe this test is all about…finding the right balance, not being so blindly dazed by the glitz and glamour of this life nor being extremely depressed by the fear of unknown and the uncertain nature of our stay here – this is what our religion teaches us. Being Muslims we know and believe that there is only so much we can do – even that not without the consent and will of Allah and the rest is completely out of our hands. So lets pray that Allah gives us courage and faith to be able to accept the realities of life, ability to enjoy, appreciate and make best use of every single moment we have here both in terms of the world and the hereafter and the strength to bear the losses we cannot imagine having but are destined to experience.
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